Starting 2026 off on the Right Foot: Sending My Writing to a Competition

A collection of Tarot cards on a white background. The front card is The Star, a naked woman filling rivers and lakes and multiple stars above her.

Today I had my Tarot read by my partner's mother.

I'm not one who necessarily believes in Tarot, however I've always taken an interest in different types of spirituality and mysticism. When I was a kid, I was interested in Wicca for a period. There was a Wiccan shop I would visit on occasion, and I would find myself perusing the various stones they had on offer (I think I was probably more fascinated by shiny rocks and gems than the religion).

Back to the topic at hand, I had my Tarot read. I asked the cards how I would fare in my creative pursuits.

The cards answered back positively, to my delight. I delighted less in the fact my partner's mum read me the ChatGPT interpretation of the cards meanings (to be fair, she didn't have a book and only the cards, but I still sought out websites for their own interpretations)

But the cards seemed to stress the importance of structure. Planning. Rigidity and control in my approach.

A lot of it had been stuff I was already leaning towards, but it was nice to see it reflected back at me. Affirming.

So, today, I have sent off a competition entry. A late Christmas Present to myself. Putting myself and my craft first. Starting the New Year on a good note.

It's been the first competition I've entered in a while, and I'm partly nervous. I couldn't see previous entrants and the closing date was "rather soon" (I hope I'll give myself some more time for other competitions in the near future), but I'm sending off a bit of The Voyeur.

I'm still in the trenches of writing it, and it's rather dear to me at this point. My weird little messed up story (affectionate). It's gross and it's full of terrible things (objective) but it's been awfully fun to work on (also objective). I've been trying to make this my one big writing project I'm working on and I've been writing it by hand which has made a world of a difference.

It's wierd to send a part of it off. I've heard writing being described as sending parts of yourself out into the world, or something to that effect. I don't have issue putting the parts of myself to paper (whether they get finished is another issue), but I find myself nervous at the concept of people responding to those parts of myself. Fearing a conceptual negative I have not yet experienced for myself.

I know my tastes lean to the macarbe and the wierd and yet there's still the pang that someone reading this work may view it as a moral judgement on myself and my character. Decide the fiction I write is reflective of myself as an individual.

I do think I worry a lot about what other people would think of me, as opposed to what I think of me.

Someone I know read my short story 'Pigeon' and told me it would be nice to see a happier story from me. I think that comment stuck with me because I knew that it would be an awfully long time before I had a story idea that wasn't in some way dark.

But I enjoy what I write. I wouldn't do this if I didn't enjoy it. If I didn't feel I had a story to tell.

I'm going into sending this story off without high expectations. Maybe I'll hear back. Maybe I won't. I think the action of sending things off should serve to be more symbolic as opposed to something final.

Because there's always a competiton. Always a place I can send to. Always a chance to try again, and again, and again.

I want to send to competitons, to show to myself that I am a writer that is able to send my work to competitons. Not necessarily win, or receive feedback. But to prove to myself that I am a writer and that I deserve to send my stuff off. And the more I allow myself to write and send, the more I prove to myself that I'm not an aspiring writer but a practicing writer.

It's about giving myself a shot. I hope to do that more this year.

Because the more I give myself a shot, there's a chance someone else will give me a shot too.